Ship part

Ship released, now send the lawyers

The Ever Forward ship that was stuck off the coast of Maryland was finally freed a few weeks ago. Well, what do you know?

They basically had only three options: transfer some of the water from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic to raise sea levels, dump some of its cargo and hope it would float off the seamount. or tell the Russians that she is tasked with massive military aid for Ukraine. for them to sink it for us.

Option 2 seemed to work the best, so they tried it and it actually worked.

The cargo containers they unloaded were temporarily transported to a storage facility in the high-crime city of Baltimore, Maryland. I am convinced that all containers will be counted when they return to find them. Although they are probably all empty.

We are now entering phase 2 of this drama and it is much worse than phase 1. This is when the lawyers start to get involved.

If you think the ship was stuck before, just wait for the lawyers to turn against the ship and start haggling over costs and fines for damages, like little tugs pushing each other. The captain can just turn around and scuttle it just to save himself the misery. Too bad he’s not equipped with a pistol.

The first subpoena was submitted by a sub last week. The captain foolishly thought it was Door Dash delivering much-needed Chinese takeout, Chips Ahoy biscuits and Cap’n Crunch cereal to the hungry crew and signed off without reading the fine print. Well, what’s a few years of your life in court in the grand scheme of things anyway?

The state of Maryland is seeking damages for what the ship did to the crab population. The dredging company demands payment for her work that freed her from the mud she was stuck in and the city of Baltimore is suing because she didn’t want to be left out.

Coincidentally, the ship managed to lift off on Easter Sunday. If you’re not a believer, you might want to reconsider. I thought only a miracle could save the ship before. So, just like Christ, the ship is reassembled.

Investigators still don’t know why the captain missed the turn in the ocean that led to the grounding. Maybe he was texting and browsing, which is always a bad idea. Or maybe the turn wasn’t clearly marked, being in the middle of the ocean and all.

Some veteran sailors claimed that the captain was a dumb idiot and didn’t know his starboard hand from his port hand. Others claim he was too inexperienced. and this was evident when he refused an “everyone on deck” order because he was afraid to report to the quarterdeck. As I see it, he has already intervened anyway.

And finally, there was a real sense of urgency to free the ship and get out of there as soon as possible, as trouble loomed on the horizon. You see, baseball season had started and the Pirates were coming to town.

Joe Crawford is a longtime Alton resident who writes weekly columns for The Telegraph. He can be contacted at [email protected]